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A KOREAN WOMAN IN AMERICA

임 순이 / 한국 여자가 미국에서

  
Updated: December 5, 2008: 5:00 pm
 
   

The past intrudes on Eden

Friday, December 14, 1990

I have been totally transfixed by Soon E ever since I saw her at the airport and have felt like a totally new person during our four days together. We have been totally tuned into each other as we improvised with the English-Korean and Korean-English dictionaries supplemented by body language in order to communicate and as we watched the 8mm video tapes that I made in 1987 that follow the girls during their last four days in Korea and their subsequent lives in an entirely new culture. I'm not sure I had seen the tapes since I made them and our deep, mutual love of the girls was probably the most important factor in the magical bond between us that grew stronger with each passing hour.

The constant activity of getting to know each other pushed everything else into the background and it truly did seem that we were in our own private Garden of Eden. But tonight, I was to be reminded of the almost unspeakable tragedies that led us to the dizzying excitement of being together.

Chang and Myong had suggested that we all go to the Methuen Mall tonight. Though both Soon E and I had talked with them quite a bit on the phone, we hadn't seen them for a couple of days. I thought it would be nice for us to go out for a while.

18 years later, the Methuen Mall has become a large, brightly lit mall with clothing stores, restaurants, movie theaters, grocery stores, and, of course, the requisite Walmart and Target big box stores. In 1990, it was on it's last legs. The anchor tenants: Sears and Jordan Marsh, were already making plans to move the stores to a new mall just over the border in Salem, NH. In the years to follow the Methuen Mall would be down to a grocery store and drug store and several mammoth empty buildings. The large empty parking area would sometimes be the host to weekend flea markets. Definitely downscale.

Tonight at the mall, Myong and Soon E went off together to do some shopping. Chang and I found a place to sit down and, as documented in my diary entry on the right, Chang fill me in on two subjects that, at least temporarily, wrenched me out of Eden and reminded me of the misery of life for Soon E and her daughters only four or five years ago.

He talked in detail about the tragic death of Soon E's first husband and the father of their three daughters. Hak-kun had lain, unconscious, in a hospital bed for more than four months as Soon E struggled to make the long trip from their small living quarters to the hospital to bathe and talk to him. She could see the promise of a new life in the U.S., the home of Hak-kun's American soldier father, slowing slipping away. And as each day past, she was one day closer to having to take care of their three Amerasian daughters with no money, no job, and under the disdain of most Koreans who wanted nothing to do with half-breeds. On the day before he died, she begged him not to leave them. And then he was gone and Soon E's and her daughters' nightmare was going to get much worse. Click here for more on Hak-kun's life.

Eventually Hak-kun's Amerasian friends and Father Ben, a Maryknoll priest who ran an orphanage for Amerasian children, convinced her that for the sake of the girls she needed to place them for adoption in America.

When Chang first met Soon E in Korea, she told him about the horrible conditions at the orphanage and tonight I heard about them for the first time from Chang. I had visited the orphanage several times but was never aware of the desperate conditions.

All I could think about as Chang talked was the unbearable pain that Soon E and her daughters had suffered. I wish so much that I could wave a magic wand and reunite them with Hak-kun in America.

The girls were now Americanized and living the good life. But Soon E had been left out. I resolved that she would never have to struggle again. I would do my best to keep her in Eden.
 

ed's diary

friday

december 14, 1990

i was up at 5:30 this morning. spent two hours on the atex manual. soon e got up about 7:30.

soon e and i decided to have english muffins. i had one honey and wheat and one plain. she recommended two plain and one honey and wheat. she decided to put on the butter and jelly first and then heat them. they were quite good that way.

after breakfast, she insisted that i work. it was hard because i wanted to be doing things with her.

she went into her bedroom.

the next thing i knew, she was hard at work in my bedroom. i felt really badly for her that she was cleaning up the horrible mess.

myong called and asked if they could come here for dinner at 4:30 prior to our shopping trip. soon e gave her a list of things she needed from the korean store. myong translated for me.

rice and kim-chi for lunch

after lunch, i went to the korean store. there were two kinds of meat with the same korean name that myong had given me: anchovies and beef. i was in a quandary. i got the beef. when i got back i called myong. soon e had meant anchovies. i tried to get soon to let me return it but she insisted that i not do it.

i was on the phone to larry all afternoon. by 4:00, soon e had totally transformed my room. what she had done was incredible.

chang, myong, and the girls got here a little after 4:30. soon e had an incredible dinner: the radish soup and omelet were superb. it was better than anything my two ex-wives had ever cooked..

myong took ji-an to bancroft for a craft session.

chang, myong, soon e and i went to the methuen mall. jia stayed at the condo.

myong and soon e went off together and chang took me to the pet store.

after we left the pet store, we decided to look for a place to sit down. he said hello to a woman in the mall. after we walked away he told me that that was his ex-wife.

we sat down to wait for myong and soon e and talked for more than half an hour. i knew that it was very important for soon e to spend time with myong but i missed her terribly.

chang told me more details about the accident of the girls's father's. soon e had found him at a bar, drinking. he asked her for $2.00 so he could get home. she thought he would use it to buy more alcohol so she refused and left. she thought he would come home under those circumstances. but he never made it. he rode his bicycle to the kimpo airport area. a friend tried to give him money for a cab but he was too proud to take it. the people who ran into him took all his identification. the authorities thought he might be an american soldier. the day before he died soon e begged him to get well so that they could go to america. friends wrapped his body in an american flag.

it was very hard to hold back the tears as chang talked. this wasn't just some anonymous person, it was the girls' father. [later as i typed this into the computer i burst into tears.]

then chang told me about the bad conditions at the orphanage where soon e placed the girls for preparation for going to america. soon e would go there and find mimi and ashley with lice and not enough food. she would take them to a public bath. it broke her heart.

chang mentioned that korean men drink because they have to work so long and hard: 6 days a week, 12 hours a day. drinking is the only outlet they have.

soon e bought a spatula and a large knife to cut vegetables with. i offered to reimburse her for them but she said no.

after we left the mall, we drove through lawrence, to the houses off route 28 in andover with the elaborate christmas lights, and then to star market. then we picked up ji-an at bancroft.

at the condo, we had more rice and kim chi. i asked myong to find out what kind of music soon e likes. i want to get some korean cds for her. she likes korean pop: slow, romantic. that is just the kind of music i love!!!

i brought up my movie tape collection. myong was very excited. she and chang want to come over and watch some movies. soon e said they should do it every weekend. that would really be great.

after chang and myong left, we watch another tape of the girls: early march 1987.

a little before 12:00, soon e went to bed. i wasn't all that tired. and i felt lonely. i wish so much that i could just hold her hand. we've touched arms a lot but i feel so frustrated that i can't comfort her more when she sees things on the tapes that make her cry. i listened to part of the julio iglesias tape and went to bed.
 
 
 

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